was a bit giddy and still groggy as I opened my eyes. Did everything go all right? Was it a success? How many did they get? I wanted as much information as possible. Stat. As if on queue, Dr. S approached my bed. “Brigitte, everything went very well. We collected eleven. Great result!” Eleven, yes that was a good number a very good number. I wouldn’t name them, couldn’t hold them, and wouldn’t send birth announcements, but I was one step closer to maybebeing a mom someday.
Oocyte cryopreservation or egg freezing has advanced by leaps and bounds with the new egg vitrification technology. Eggs are now flash frozen which has literally eliminated ice crystal formations common in the slow freezing method. I never imagined I would be a candidate for this procedure. I never thought I could give myself daily hormone shots in my belly. However, I also never imagined that at 38 I would not be married with 2.5 kids and a station wagon.
You see I was always that girl who wanted children. To me procreation was never a question. In grade school notebooks I dutifully scripted the names Cassandra and Matthew. I ogled at tiny sneakers and sandals. I saved my favorite dresses for my future daughter. However, those child hood dreams went through one divorce, three career changes, four moves and many blind dates. And somehow at 38 I was still single and still childless and still hopeful. There are a multitude of ways to have children – from fostering to adoption to surrogacy, but I am still hopeful that I can have a traditional family.
Maybe I am asking too much. And maybe God has other plans for me. Perhaps you like many people believe that women should not use egg freezing as a means to pause their biological clocks. I must admit that I have felt all of these things at some point too. However, I am not going to give my dreams away that easily. Given the strides in assisted reproductive technology, why shouldn’t I try to reach my goal of someday being a mother.
I do not know what the future holds. All I know for sure is that I am one step closer to maybe being a mom someday. And, well, that is good enough for me